EquippedMama

There is nothing quite like walking into a room and knowing you’re not the prettiest one there. Guys don’t understand it, but it seems to be a normal part of female nature.

It isn’t right, but we all do it; comparisons. This is why commercials work so well. We all want immaculate eyebrows, luscious eyelashes, silky- smooth styled hair, and a perfect body, with no rolls, no hair, and no blemishes. If this was not true, plastic surgeons, spa owners, and fitness trainers would all need to look for a new line of work.

Now imagine your husband coming home after work and sitting down to dinner and checking out another woman sitting at the table. Right in front of you. In your own home, your husband thinks you are second-rate.

This is the story of Leah. Eternal runner-up. However, the compassion of the Lord again shines in the life of one considered unlovely and her prayer is a reminder that praise for the Lord is the best testimony we can give our children, despite our situation. Also this is  a testimony that the Lord is the Redeemer of the worst of our mistakes and choices.

Abraham and Sarah’s grandson, Jacob, was in need of a wife, and, under strict orders from his father not to marry a woman from their land, he was sent out from his father’s house to find a wife from among the daughters of his uncle Laban; his choices were Leah and Rachel.

The Bible makes only short commentary on the physical appearance of each of the girls, saying that, “Leah’s eyes were tender, but Rachel had a lovely and beautiful appearance.” Genesis 29:17 Various commentators suggest that Leah’s eyes could have been weak, or perhaps they were not very pretty. Regardless the interpretation, the point is clear: Rachel is the beauty. When Jacob meets her, he kisses her, weeps loudly, and shortly thereafter begins making arrangements with Laban to marry this woman (Gen. 29:11, 18).

What heartache this romance likely caused for Leah! Laban agreed to a seven-year indentured servitude of Jacob for Rachel. This man was a very desirable batchelor-he appears to fear the Lord, he was incredibly wealthy and the heir to his father’s estate. One can imagine the hurt Leah felt each time Jacob returned to the camp from caring for the sheep. He was wildly in love with Rachel. He wanted her. The Biblical account of his indentured servitude comments, “So Jacob worked for seven years to acquire Rachel. But they seemed like only a few days to him because his love for her was so great.” Genesis 29:20. Likely Leah watched Jacob and Rachel’s longing looks and tender conversations she nursed loneliness in her heart. Likely she wondered why her sister was  the pretty one rather than her?

The seventh year drew to an end and Laban’s household became a center for celebration. All the people of that place were invited: the whole town. It was to be a huge celebration for Jacob and Rachel- their time of waiting was at last at an end. However, amid the preparations, one significant change was made.

Rachel was not to be the bride.

The Bible does not shed light on how this exchange was made, but one can imagine that Leah was willing to be the surrogate wife. The custom of the area was to marry the older daughter first, and Laban was eager to see the less desirable daughter also provided for. Although she knew Rachel was the one Jacob loved, perhaps Leah hoped Jacob would grow to love her, too. Perhaps she worried this was her only chance to be married. For whatever reason, Leah was dressed in a heavy veil, typical for brides of that time. Therefore, it was not until the morning after their wedding had been consumated that Jacob realized he had been deceived.

What a cruel blow to Leah, waking up to her husband, and seeing disgust written on his face. It was obvious he did not want her.

Complaining this unfair treatment to Laban, Jacob arranged to marry Rachel in exchange to another 7 years of labor. They were allowed to wed immediately following Leah’s bridal week. For Leah, the celebration was over.

“Jacob had marital relations with Rachel as well. He loved Rachel more than Leah, so he worked for Laban for seven more years.31 When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved he enabled her to become pregnant while Rachel remained childless.” Genesis 29:31

Leah’s story should have ended here. Her choice to go along with her father’s scheme was at very least unadvisable, regardless of how understandable it might have been. Some might say, therefore, that she “deserved” to be treated poorly because of her deceptive marriage.  But, as is seen throughout Scripture, God does not show kindness to people based on merit. At a moment where Leah’s story seems to be a closed book, the Lord intervenes.What an encouragement for those of us who think our mistakes have also written our last chapters!

The Bible says that the Lord saw that Leah was unloved and he enabled her to become pregnant. Again, the Lord took notice of the suffering of an unloved wife. Does this sound familiar to the story of Hagar? Different situations, but both unloved and unlovely women, chosen for a special purpose by a loving and merciful God. In a culture where bearing children, especially sons, was accepted as the sign of success, God has mercy on Leah and allows her to become pregnant, rather than her sister.

Given the intensity of Jacob’s love for Rachel, it must have been a happy surprise for Leah that she could be the mother of Jacob’s children. Leah was not loved. She was not desired. But she was the one that was bearing children.

The name of Leah’s firstborn reflects the tension that filled the house of Jacob-she named him Ruben, saying, “Surely my husband will love me now.” (Genesis 29:32). The following sons also served as living testimonies to the broken heart of their mother.

Simeon was named next, with Leah’s exclamation- “Because the Lord heard that I was unloved, he gave me this son.” (Genesis 29:33)

With the birth of her third son, Leah named him Levi and said, “Now this time my husband will show me affection, because I have given birth to three sons for him” (Genesis 29:34).

While Leah obviously was intimate with Jacob, given the fact that she had three sons by him, it was apparent to her that these encounters were merely utilitarian. Leah could concieve, Rachel was barren. Leah, seeing her children as a means to be valued by Jacob, clutched at her sons in hopes that she might gain her husband through them. What a weighty price for Leah and her sons to pay for the deceptive act of her marriage! How many times did she regret that decision?

Laban had done wrong giving Leah to Jacob, but Leah was responsible as well. Regardless her involvement in becoming Jacob’s wife, and her idolatry of her sons as a means to her husband’s heart, the Lord still saw Leah, loved her, and blessed her with children.

More than simply bearing sons, however, the Lord also worked in her heart to know and understand that she did not need her husband’s affection to live at peace. The Bible does not ever recount a specific confession of her wrong attitudes, but the heart change is there. The same heart change offered to us in 1 John 1:9  “But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.”

Genesis recounts this heart change with Leah’s simple prayer- the dedication of her fourth son. After the first three sons, who all bear names referencing Leah’s struggle, she conceived and gave birth to a fourth. Judah.

“She said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” That is why she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.” Genesis 29:35b

Finally Judah is born, and Leah says that she will praise the Lord. In his book Counterfeit Gods, Timothy Keller comments on the significance of Leah’s prayers. Although the house of Laban kept family idols, yet she chose to pray to Yahweh- the God of Abraham, Isaac, and her husband. Keller Comments,

“The only way that Leah could have known about Yahweh was if Jacob had told her about the promise to his grandfather. So even though she was struggling and confused, she was nonetheless reaching out to a God of grace.” (Keller, Counterfeit Gods, 42).

Leah’s praise in Judah’s name indicates a shift in her priorities and thinking. She is willing to praise the Lord, even though, by all accounts her status as the unloved wife remained unchanged. She was willing to worship despite unanswered petitions and praise without improved conditions.

The text comments that (at least for a short time) Leah then stopped having children. Later we read about the births of Leah’s fifth sixth and seventh children, so it is not to say that the Lord closed her womb, but perhaps, she had victory over her idolatry of childbearing.

The Lord demonstrated kindness to Leah on multiple levels. He gave her children, and moreover sons, who were deemed of higher importance in that culture. He brought her into a home where she would learn about Yahweh and be separated from the idol-worship practiced by her father’s house. More than that, however, he worked on her heart, healing her of the bitterness from her mistreatment so that she could offer the Lord true praise. What a kindness shown by the Lord to heal her broken heart!

Finally, through the unloved wife, and the child of a changed heart, came the Lion of the tribe of Judah.

Messiah’s line was through Leah.

While God did not delight in seeing the hurt in Leah’s heart, he did delight in bringing beauty from ashes and using that broken twisted relationship to bring forth the line from which his Son would come. Jacob may not have chosen Leah, but God did.

Personal application: Leah’s true victory came when she was willing to stop looking at her problems and start looking to the Lord. Although it was a heart-wrenching process by which she learned to praise him, she was rewarded with being a direct ancestor to Messiah. Some of Leah’s problems she did not appear to bring upon herself- her appearance was far less enticing than her sister’s and it seems as though she was passed off as the sister that was unwanted. Some of her problems she seems to have at least played accomplice to. Yet it was through her imprudent act  that she was brought into a home that feared the Lord. It was through a loveless marriage that Judah was conceived. The Lord restored that which was broken.

Perhaps in your life you have been victim to circumstances or situations outside your control. Perhaps you have made choices that you have regretted every day. The same heart change that the Lord offered to Leah he graciously extends to you. The Word of God still ministers to our hearts, convicting us of sin and leading us to a place of repentance and forgiveness. If your life has been characterized by wrong choices, take the time to confess your sins to the Lord and to those you may have hurt. Allow yourself to be humbled before the Lord, and then experience unimaginable mercy.

The Lord is still in the practice of redeeming lives and writing beautiful ends to heartbreaking stories. Let him write yours.

This time, you too, can praise the Lord.