EquippedMama

A gentle response turns away anger,

but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

The tongue of the wise treats knowledge correctly,

but the mouth of the fool spouts out folly.

The eyes of the Lord are in every place,

keeping watch on those who are evil and those who are good.

Speech that heals is like a life-giving tree,

but a perverse tongue breaks the spirit.

Proverbs 15: 1-4

Have you ever realized just how much talking goes into mothering?

Whenever my daughter and I run errands together, I normally narrate our activities for her. “First we’re going to go get groceries. Do you want to go buy food? What type of food do you like?” You probably know the drill. It wasn’t until recently, when I went shopping without her, that I realized that I have taken up the habit of talking to myself when she’s not there. I’m telling myself that it’s okay- I’m talking to my unborn son. Hopefully the people around me think that, and don’t just assume that I’ve lost it!

My daughter has started talking, too. This is an amazing process that truly does highlight the crowning creation that humans are. Our Rhodesian ridgeback hasn’t learned the art of communication in the 10 months that she has lived with us, but in the last year and a half, my little girl has gone from crying to polysyllabic methods of communication. There aren’t any Shakespeare soliloquies being quoted at our house yet, but we’re working our way there.

As you make a journey through the Proverbs, you might begin to realize some of the repeated themes and ideas. One of the more prominent concepts is the idea of the power of the tongue. Strong things are said about nagging wives and the verbal produce of the fool. This particular passage seems incredibly relevant to our lives as mothers. It reminds us of the power of our words, especially to those who are closest to us.

This particular passage highlights the life-giving power that a carefully shared word can have. It also warns of the strong negative repercussions for those who lash out with their tongues. As a mother, I have begun to realize just how many opportunities I have to sin with my mouth. I might discipline my daughter, but use angry or ill-thought-through words in my reproof. Not only does the Proverbs have a lot to say about being slow to anger, (Proverbs 16:32, Proverbs 19:11) but in this very passage it encourages the listener that a gentle response turns away anger. There is so much more to our responses than the actual words that we use!

Complaining.

Arguing.

Gossip.

These are all sins of the mouth that we as mothers are particularly tempted towards. When speaking to our children directly, we might be quick to call them beautiful, or smart, or talented. But how often do we cut them or others down when we think they are not listening? The Bible says that eventually each person will “give an account for every worthless word they speak.” (Matthew 12:36, New English Translation, italics added). My guess is that this encompasses our text messages, Facebook posts, conversations around the dinner table, and “venting” with our girlfriends. Each word will be judged. This must mean that each word has value.

On the flip side, our words have enormous potential for speaking life into our children. We, of all people, should be the ones to praise our children for a job well done, a sacrifice made, or a behavior improved (1 Thessalonians 5:11). We should be the ones to model holy speech, life-giving speech, speech that heals and turns away anger.

In the book of Titus, Paul outlines what model mentoring relationships are to look like between older men and younger men and older women and younger women. Interestingly, the first characteristic that the female mentor is to demonstrate is not having a powerful testimony or great ministry. She is called to not slander (Titus 2:3) and is challenged to employ her tongue rather for “teaching what is good” (Titus 2:3b).

Our words can be a fountain of life. We have the opportunity to speak life into our children, to teach them what is good and to encourage them to turn away from anger and seek the Lord. The question is, do we? Let’s commit to that type of speech, let’s be Mamas that speak life to our precious children.