EquippedMama

Who can find a wife of noble character?

For her value is far more than rubies.

The heart of her husband has confidence in her,

and he has no lack of gain.

She brings him good and not evil all the days of her life.

She obtains wool and flax, and she is pleased to work with her hands.

She is like the merchant ships;

she brings her food from afar.

She also gets up while it is still night,

and provides food for her household and a portion to her female servants.

She considers a field and buys it; from her own income she plants a vineyard.

She begins her work vigorously, and she strengthens her arms.

She knows that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out in the night.

Her hands take hold of the distaff,

and her hands grasp the spindle.

Proverbs 31:10-19

Somewhere along the course of history, tension arose between strong women, and maternal women. While cultural acceptance and affirmation has often been the reward for strong women, many have approached the concept of maternal women with misunderstanding.

With Women’s Suffrage in 1920, giving women in America the right to vote, women were able to be represented for the first time politically as equals with men. Over the next few decades, Rosie the Riveter-esque images began highlighting the strength that could be found in women. Now, this desire for absolute equal gender treatment has morphed into lawsuits over equality in pay and labor conditions.

Regardless one’s stance on the issue, one can agree that in America strong women are valued as being important, powerful, and in a desirable position.

What about maternal women?

Where are the accolades for the women who are nurturing, affectionate, loving, relational, and caring? Where is the applause for the woman who gives up a vocational, athletic, or social opportunity for the health and well-being of her child?

The Proverbs describe a Mama I think we can all admire and aspire to be, but also a woman who helps shed light on the issue of Strong Mama/Maternal Mama. In these next few weeks we will be exploring what a godly mother looks like according to the model shown in Proverbs 31 and discover how being a Strong Mama does not preclude someone from also being maternal. It is my hope that you will see and understand the incredible value both roles have to play in the lives of our families.

This passage describes an incredible mother, beginning with her intrinsic virtue. In the NET she is described as being a wife of noble character (vs. 10) but other translations describe her as being “excellent” (NASB) “virtuous” (KJV) and “a worthy woman” (ASV). She is described as being of precious value, clearly as a result of the strength of her character. The passage later clarifies that a woman who fears the Lord will be praised (vs. 31) and so it naturally follows that this role-model woman has pristine character because she lives life out of a fear for the Lord.

I love the fact that the Scripture provides this model of what a noble wife should look like! This is no weak woman, hiding behind the successes of her husband or children. She does business in the community. She buys, sells and owns property (vs. 16) and yet clearly also tends to the work within her own home. This Mama is strong (vs. 17) but not from trips to the gym, rather from dealing with the everyday tasks of life. While she is a successful business woman, she is also attentive to the needs of her family, providing them with food and clothing (vs.13, 14).

While the strength of this woman is inescapable, I believe it is also important to note that she is incredibly maternal. She cares for the well-being of her family, and her husband “has confidence in her” (vs. 11). Doubtlessly because of the strength of character of this woman, no one needs check up on her. This woman’s priorities and motivations always consider the well-being of her family.

One other observation from this passage. Did you notice the joy with which she does her work? Although she rises early (vs. 15) and stays up late (vs. 18) she is “pleased” to work with her hands (vs. 13). This woman appears to have a godly understanding of the blessing that her work and her family is. Her work is a joy, not done grudgingly or out of duty.

Now, I don’t know about you, but reading this passage can make me feel a little deflated. I don’t make my children’s clothes, most of the time I buy them from thrift shops or off the clearance rack at Wal-Mart. I’m not really the sort to do investments, let alone buy and sell property while trying to raise my children. This is not, however, a to-do list geared to guilt us into waking up earlier, staying up later, growing our own food and throwing away our ready-made frozen lasagna.

It is a reality check, however. It makes me ask some tough questions. Questions like:

Am I centered in being a woman that fears the Lord?

Do I prioritize the needs of my family above my own?

Do I do my work grudgingly, or with a joyful spirit?

These are the baby steps towards being a strong and maternal mother. This is the type of mother that our family needs us to be, and a role that the Lord has called us to.