EquippedMama

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and loving instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the ways of her household,

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed,

her husband also praises her:

“Many daughters have done valiantly,

but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting,

but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

Give her credit for what she has accomplished,

and let her works praise her in the city gates.

Proverbs 31:26-31, New Living Translation.

Revisiting our topic from last week, we join the Proverbs 31 woman to observe the elements of her life from which we can glean wisdom. Last week, we discussed how the Proverbs 31 woman is one who ministers both to her home and from her home. Her hospitality and concern for those outside her home is marked, but so is her regard for those who dwell with her. This woman models for us the perfect balance of strength and maternity- a balance we as mamas are all challenged to find as well. In this last installment, please prayerfully consider what aspects of this woman’s character the Lord might be calling you to model as well.

We like to call her the “gossip police”.

In our family, there is an individual that does not allow for people to be spoken of poorly. Whenever conversation starts to turn to a darker light and details get a little too juicy, she suddenly becomes quiet and obviously detaches from the conversation. Then she makes a comment about a good characteristic about the person. Perhaps she changes the topic entirely.

That’s when we know we’ve been busted. With this family member, speech is of critical importance. This same characteristic is found in our passage.

The Proverbs 31 woman is adorned with both strength and maternity that many of us should aspire to, however, perhaps one of the most important virtues this woman displays is her control over her tongue. This discipline clearly flows from the fear that she has for the Lord.; this character quality allows those who see her to view her life as worthy of emulation and respect. Wouldn’t we all desire to be this type of mother?

The passage states that when she speaks she “Opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue.” (vs. 26). Did you notice the descriptive words used in this verse? Her words are filled with wisdom and loving instruction. She does not simply open her mouth, she shares wisdom from a place of love. How often could these twin characteristics describe our conversations?

I believe the majority of “mom sins” can be summed up by sins of the mouth. How many of our conversations are sprinkled with words that are not filled with wisdom or love? Is complaining, criticism, or crucifying character commonplace for us? When we get together with friends do we talk about our husband “who’s our extra kid” or our child “who’s just a monster right now” or our parents or in-laws who “are so ______”? For some reason these temptations seem especially present for women, which is likely why Paul exhorted Titus to encourage the older women under his care to;“exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good.” (Titus 2:3, New English Translation). And Paul encourages the Ephesian church to, “Walk worthily of the calling with which you were called…speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:1b, 15 b, New King James Version).

In last week’s post I referenced Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth’s recent book, Adorned, and do so again as she has helpful insights on this particular topic;

Much of what eventually becomes slander is born and nourished when our unbridles thoughts are given free rein. That’s why we need to be careful what we choose to let our minds dwell on. We need to squelch that unholy curiosity of ours, the kind that loves hearing dirt about others and then adds our own commentary as we reflect on it later in the day.

A commitment to “take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Cor. 10:5) requires conscious, disciplined effort. And it takes time spent at the feet of Jesus-fixing our eyes on Him…

Adorned, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, 2017, Chicago. pg. 123

I believe we can only truly have loving and wise speech when we are obedient to the command to take every thought captive, and when we spend time gazing at Jesus. Worship is an uprooting agent for slander. Although the Proverbs 31 woman was described prior to the incarnation of Christ (Old Testament) she does the very best she can with the knowledge she has. She is a woman who fears the Lord.

Perhaps the most remarkable commentary on this woman is the praise offered her by her husband at the end of the passage. He is the closest person to her, presumably, and yet his words are nothing short of glowing. In the concluding remarks about this woman, her character is once again praised, rooted from her fear of the Lord.

That’s where everything goes back to. She is praised because she fears the Lord. She is wise with her speech because she fears the Lord. She works hard and tends to the needs of her family because she fears the Lord. This is the mark of a wife of noble character. This is the mark of what the Lord desires from a strong, maternal mama.

So…

as you change diapers

commute to work

talk with your friends

write a family budget

have a tough talk with your spouse

consider these qualities. Consider allowing your speech to be wise and loving. Your reputation to proceed you as you live out a life of fear for the Lord. To do that, spend time in His presence. Contemplate who He is and what He has done for you. As you re-orient your thoughts and words around your awareness of who the Lord is, you, too, will become a strong, maternal mama.

What a high calling to accept!