EquippedMama

By Jaci Newell

“Beep. Beep. Beep.”

The steady rhythm of the machines filled the quiet NICU room as I embraced her tiny hand wrapped around my finger. The sounds had become strangely familiar—monitors tracking every heartbeat, every breath, every small sign that her fragile little body was fighting to grow stronger. After a traumatic birth, our third child had to spend some time in the NICU before she could come home with us.

As I stared at her in disbelief, my mama heart ached in a way that words could hardly express. Her tiny body seemed almost swallowed up by the tubes, wires, and machines surrounding her. Nurses and doctors worked carefully and compassionately, but it was still painful to watch as she was continually poked and prodded for tests, feedings, and monitoring. Every time I visited her room, I found myself quietly whispering the same thing over her, “Oh, what I would give to trade places with you and take you out of this misery.”

Most parents understand this feeling instinctively. When we see our children hurting, something deep within us longs to take that burden away. Their suffering becomes our suffering, and the instinct to protect them is overwhelming. Yet no matter how much we desire it, we cannot truly trade places with them. We cannot remove their pain simply by taking it upon ourselves. But what we cannot do for our children, Jesus did for us.

The doctrine of substitutionary atonement teaches that Jesus willingly took our place in order to atone for our sins. Though he was completely sinless, he chose to bear the weight of our guilt and the punishment we deserved. The apostle Peter writes in 1 Peter 2:24, “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” And Paul echoes this truth in 2 Corinthians 5:21, saying, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

On the cross, Jesus accomplished what no loving parent ever could. He took our sin, our shame, and the full weight of the punishment we deserved upon himself. In doing so, he made a way for us to be forgiven, healed, and restored to a right relationship with God. The love that led him to the cross is the greatest demonstration of sacrificial love the world has ever known. And every time I feel the weight of desiring to take my children’s suffering upon myself, I’m reminded of the Savior who truly did that for me.

While we could never accomplish what Jesus did for us on the cross, we do have the privilege as parents of offering small glimpses of that same sacrificial love to our children. Every sleepless night, every whispered prayer over them, every meal made, diaper changed, snotty nose wiped, load of laundry completed, and mess cleaned becomes a quiet testimony of love poured out. In all these ordinary moments, we are pointing them to something greater than ourselves—to the perfect love of the Savior who took our place on that rugged cross. What a high calling and sacred gift it is that through our imperfect love, our children can catch a glimpse of the perfect love of their Father in heaven.

About Jaci-I live in the Dallas suburbs with my husband, Jordan, our three children, and Weller, our loyal hunting dog. As a stay-at-home mom, I spend my days nurturing our home—shepherding little hearts, baking sourdough, preparing meals to gather friends and family around our table, and creating a space that feels warm and welcoming. In the quieter moments, I love brewing a fresh espresso and diving into thoughtful theological conversations.

Jaci Newell serves on the board of EquippedMama